GOOD FOR MY SKIN

Bai Ling is an actress, I think, and without a doubt, one of the most iconographic style mavens of today. Often imitated but never outshined, Bai maximizes color and texture while minimizing coverage, taste, and common sense. And in case you didn’t know, coverage, taste, and common sense are all totally OUT! With each ensemble to grace her flagpole figure, it’s like Bai is saying, “Hey fashion. I don’t know you. Get out of my house.” If I ever become a parent, which I hope I don’t, I will say that to my children: "Get out of my house!" Bai Ling, you are an inspiration to us all!




This dress is way pretty. It reminds me of a pair of sexy panties. A pair of sexy, bloody panties. The kind you see on the corner, wrapped around some whore’s ankle. Bai Ling’s fashion is super street smart, no diggity.















You know where you get the best deals on clothes like this? Chinatown. But not in any Chinatown. China’s Chinatown. Like a Russian doll, you open China’s Chinatown and guess what? There’s another smaller, even cheaper, Chinatown inside. That’s where Bai Ling shops. The Chinatown of China's Chinatown.

“I can catch snow on my tongue,” said Bai Ling, “and crabs with my coochie. See?”

“Look closely. Now do you see?”

Check it out, it’s a sale on blondes: Bai one, get one free!
Only that other blond is not having more fun. She is deciding who gets fired for making her stand next to little miss loopy.













My dermatologist always tells me squeezing zits will make them bigger. I never listen but now I will. Thanks, Bai Ling! You are also good for my skin.