Old Waitress/New Waitress

The one with the ring on his pinky?

We call him Uncle Drinky

Because he always comes in here bombed

By noon, his breath is stinky

And his tips are super dinky

But he's nice so when he stiffs you

Don't be alarmed.

The blonde with the baby?

We call her Miss Maybe

Because no one ever sees the dad

Slightly under weighty

Such a frail little lady

Quiet and lonely 

Really, it's kind of sad.

The one at the counter whose always chipper?

I have a feeling she's a stripper

Check out the super sized rack

She's a very good tipper

And we call her Ducky Lipper

Because her collagen

Was injected by a quack