Ugly Things #2

The PT Cruiser - As if the memories of the ZZ Top videos from the early '80's weren't bad enough.  Now there's an update.  God or Bouvier will smite you if you're caught driving one of these.

Carrot Top - Darling, this is going nowhere good.  To all my gentle readers, if you are a friend of Carrot Top's (or if you know for a fact that Carrot Top has a friend), it is your duty to find and help him.  Start of slowly by giving CT a mirror and once he is distracted, steal his 'roids with caution.  He may bite off your nose but think of it as part of your civic duty.  

Goatees - Fellas, I am no expert on men's fashion, well, okay, actually, I'm an expert on everything so listen up: you simply must shave the goatee.  I will give you one reason and it's a doozy: it's ugly.  Here's another reason: the 1990's are over.  I know many of you feel it adds lines to your otherwise doughy faces and this is true but that's like a woman saying "the mustard stain on these jeans detracts from the period blood stain on these jeans."  See the lack of logic?