Song of the Sofa Sloth

I'm so thirsty and would get water 

but I'm too lazy

I could be a better daughter 

but I'm too lazy

Massage my neck to rid the crink

Cook myself a sausage link

Do instead of think 

but I'm too lazy

Can't be bothered to scratch that itch 

cause I'm so lazy

I can barely move an inch 

cause I'm so lazy

I'm a loner not a dater

and too stoned to be a hater

I wish my tub had an elevator

cause I'm so lazy