This is true.

Some mornings, I see this woman on the train. She looks like she could be the sister of Al from Happy Days. Hangdog, I believe, is what you call that look. She takes great care with her bangs. She pulls them lovingly straight down from the rest of her brown, curly head. I have imagined her in front of the mirror more than once avec flat iron, giant brush, hair drier, hot rollers - whatever it takes. She looks sad, defeated. She looks like someone drew a frownie face on a canned ham. I fear her. I fear waking up one morning and seeing that expression looking back at me. This is true.