Three True Stories about Me and Hot Dogs

1. At Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, a hot dog is called a Dodger Dog. When I was 8 I bit into my aunt's Dodger Dog and lost a tooth.
   
2. When I first moved to NYC, I said to a friend, "At about 5 o'clock yesterday, I saw this street vendor pushing his cart away and all this hot dog water was dripping out of the bottom. Then I started thinking there are carts everywhere in this city and they're all dripping hot dog water. The streets are like a giant sponge soaking up hot dog water. I'm serious. Why are you laughing? Every inch of every street in all of New York is covered with hot dog water!" I think I was flirting.


3. At a slumber party in 5th grade, a girl named Jennifer was dared to rub a hot dog on her vajayjay. She totally did it. I was there.