I had sex with...

I had sex with Menudo.  It's hard to talk about it.  I mean, yes, I did it and yes I loved every hour of it but...well.  This is really hard for me to say.  I thought they were New Edition.  I, Bouvier, had a mother who thought that many wonderful things in life were evil.  Things like salt, make up, sugar cereal, and television.  So not only was I stuck trying to enjoy cold clots of honey on Shredded Wheat for breakfast, when I went out into the world, I was downright gullible!  A friend had made me a cassette of New Edition.  I listened to it endlessly and when I saw Menudo eating poached eggs in Baker's Square, I flipped out.  I ran to their table and said, "I love your band."  The one I thought was Bobby said, "Prove it."  So I did.   I'm so ashamed.  I mean only one of them is famous now.  One!  And he's probably gay.  Why is life so cruel?