Ugly Things #3

Perhaps by now you have gathered that I, Bouvier, come from humble beginnings.  And though I am now an international icon of culture, style, and taste, many of my relatives are not.  Take my uncle Kel.  He's got a good soul but a bad eye.  He bought be this teddy bear planter for me for Kwanzaa...four years in a row.  I kept donating it to the Salvation Army and he loves to shop there so, well, it was ironic to say the least. 

Uncle Kel also got me this Sock Monkey Dress.  I hate sock monkeys with all my heart and turning a gaggle of them into a ball gown will not change that.  That's me on the right begging my uncle to take it back.  I said, "It's too rich, too delicate for me, mon oncle!" I often speak in French to confuse my relatives.  He said, "Listen to the big time fancy plogger."  Plogger.  Uncle Kel has never touched a computer for fear that the devil will steal his soul through the "finger tap thingies."  

Oui, il est mon Oncle Kel - quel horrreur!  As you can see, he too is a "fancy plogger."  But don't hate.  He's a good man.  A kind man.  A complicated man.  But yes, an ugly man and that's why his photo must live among the Ugly Things.