Trash TV

You know, there is nothing wrong with watching the show Hoarders on A&E just like there is nothing wrong with:

• Gawking at a car accident
• Giving the stink eye to a stranger's child throwing a 45 minute tantrum
• Marveling at a not so pretty girl trying real hard to be real pretty

In other words, even though you know better, you do it anyway. Sort of like picking a zit or dating an alcoholic.

Not surprisingly, Hoarders is about people who refuse to throw things away. There are a lot of embarrassed children and dead cats on this show. The humiliated children are not a surprise but the cat carcasses often are. Not to me but to the people on the show. Let's be real: if you live in a big ol' litter box, you can expect a few feline friends wanting to come over and play. For some reason, I watched two episodes of this show last night. I should be scolded. But no one was there to witness it except The Man Upstairs.

Hoarders. It's between me and my god, now.

Thank God

Southern California is home to so many amazing things such as Fashion Island and a classy chain of restaurants called Pink Taco. You would think that you died and gone to heaven most days, but the rats in the palm trees and the possums on your lawn bring it all back to earth.

The real story of this city can be found in the humble genre called B Movies. Thank God It's Friday, Roller Boogie, and The Van tell it like it is. Don't show me Chinatown directed by that damaged Polish kiddy diddler. Don't you dare mention LA Confidential, Barton Fink, or even Beverly Hills Cop. Those are fantastical bits of celluloid rubbish trying to sell a stylized, sterilized, organized Hollywood Blvd. Well, I'm here to tell you, it's ain't like that at all. It's ugly. Embrace it.

All you need to know about Los Angeles can be seen in Xanadu. Art, love, hopes, dreams, silly hair, skates. It's all there for you and for me.

Merry Christmas!

I made up a new joke for Christmas. It goes like this:

You know when you have to deal with your fuckin' family?

Ba-dum-dum.

Gay Bar

There should be a gay bar called the Billy Club and the ad could look something like this:

Or, it could be called The Night Stick. Which would you rather go to: The Billy Club or The Night Stick? I'm leaning towards the latter.

Money

Whoever said you can't throw money at a problem

was really, really, really poor.