Lady Bovier-3000 Says...

Imitation is the sincerest form of irritation.

Bouvier Word of the Day

Lovelock - v. - to be so entangled in the identity of the one you adore you are stuck. Donna was so freakin' lovelocked that she couldn't even put kraut on her dog without checking with Lou!

Bull's Eye!

I am going to be in a Target ad. I made this decision about a year ago while walking past some Target ads in Times Square. It was a winter day and not the kind of winter day that seems like a new beginning, either. It was was more slush than snow, more freezing than brisk, more lonely than anything else. I must have been hating my job that day. I do that. Often. And then, as hopeful as springtime, there were ten giant Target posters splashed along the subway wall. Bull's eye! I knew it was all about to be different. And by all, I mean every aspect of my life. The people in the posters were glowing, bouncing balls of golden light and radiant, radical, badical energy. This, I thought, is where I belong. If you call information to get my number, when the operator says, "What city?" you say, "Super Happy Targetland," because that where I live. Everything is possible. More evidence that life is better in a Target ad from the people in the ads themselves.

Sunkist Boy likes me. He's gay and so

conceited that he's checking

himself out in my mirror.

But I still, I deeply believe he likes me.

I'm not demanding attention by touching a stranger's

penis with my mouth or anything!

The Target Life shows me kindness.

--Annalisa M.

My dog was accidentally stamped
by some USDA meat checker.
My puppy's name is Taco Meat.
The Target Life is ironic.
-- Steve J.


This is my mom and dad a long time ago.
Mom's mowing the lawn because she's sexy.
Dad's kicking a ball because he's confused by mom.
Max Headroom is framing that ball with a hoop because at the time, he was fictious and famous and rather eccentric.
I was born a year later.
Max always remembers my birthday.
The Target Life shows me the love.
-- Simon L.







She said, "Yo, your car has acne, son. "
I said, "Pop it, mami!"
The Target Life makes me think I'm Puerto Rican.
--Akira K.

Is sweet

You have two sisters
older, with their own poems
They were the pretty ones

But you, Ella of the Ashes,
happily did the chores
threw your arms up and leapt across the river
to your prince, out of work and waiting, on the Lower East Side

You wink at the sugar factory
Ah, says the huddled masses
Youth is sweet

It's all smooth!

Yeah, regularity has never been my thing. But, I have been eating lots of salad and whole grain cereal so, you know, it's all smooth.